burden beyond explaining

Knowing you’re out there so close to me
Yet not close enough to touch and face
Is a burden beyond explaining itself
It’s as if fate is teasing my very being

My need to talk to you is unremarkably foolish
Especially after all the pain you’ve put me through
I shouldn’t want you near me
Yet that’s all my heart yearns for

I yearn to hear your voice, to see your face
But I know that it’s all impossible now
The war inside my body hasn’t let me forget all your flaws
So I’m stuck with unresolved feelings for you

These feeling are driving me insane
For the fact that one minute I loathe you yet the next I don’t
This war is what’s making me miss you more every single second were apart
For I have no closure and without it I won’t ever be sane

In the end my mind will win this time
Because the pain has weakened my heart to defeat
Now I just have to realize I will no longer hear your voice at night
Realizing all these things at once is going to be the most agonizing moments of my life