No trust

November 8, 2011
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These eyes are unseeing
This heart is not beating
My thoughts are decreasing from sense
No more
I am in a dark forest
Unspoken of, unheard
My steps filled with caution
But I follow this unknown trail
I create this forbidden path
Marked with confusion and loneliness
Im distant, far off
Living in the midst of my haunting past
My mistakes that I cannot revert
I will never find an oasis

We are all drowning
Trying to swim ashore
Trying to stay afloat
These memories, they haunt me
Regret fills my being
I am not me, no more
I've given up, no intervention
I cant rid of the habits I possess
I hide within myself

Who are you, friend or foe?
To you my guard is down momentarily,
But i am rebuilding
My walls of protection
My thoughts are concealed
Revealed from these written words
But I will not let you in,
For I am untrusting
Afraid of judgement
This close proximity frightens me, leave me be
I'd rather be a lost soul

I don't have a rescuer
You aren't my rescuer
You are the blame
My mind is clouded and opaque
For I am lost in a world of uncertainty

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