Realized with some real eyes that you were an idea not an actuality and I’m over concepts I need concrete reality

Golden words with a silver tongue judiciously spun in sheep clothes

Foreign to the ways of man drawn to the indulgent hoes

Rooted knee deep in your childhood woes

You live in the dim wit of the lime light of what you believe to be truth

Living an alternate reality of past situations and obstinate obligations of what you believe to be you

I want to lay your head on my breast and rub pink lotion through your nappy head

And lull you to sleep

If only to see the boy you once use to be

Distended from your d*** end we are no longer connected

And my mind withers wilting dripping thoughts of regret onto my racing heart infected with your rejection

Words escape me as I try to feed you my understanding

Weak with thoughts of strength I indulge in your selfish meanderings

To become what I thought to be an addition of the subtraction some bygone skeleton stole from me

You thought me weak to succumb to just c** shots and crude words

I thought me valiant as I tried to rewrite the ruined nights with a dalliance of not love but at least………..maybe romance

You thought me stupid as I met your carefully constructed arrogance with diligence

I thought me stuck holding hope on the corner of doubt at a fork in the road of unwillingness

Lost met Confused

Know How countered I know

Past intercepted actuality

Chance was taken but not given

And in the beginning there was ending

But freedom is blissful departure from the deep end of this life lesson I refuse to be repressed in

So I smile at what once was with the boy that could never be