Do you know what it does to me,
Seeing you with her,
It tears me up,
But somehow, I'm okay with it,
I'm happy for you,
Seeing you happy makes me happy,
I just wish you would of looked at me how you look at her,
The same way I look at you.
I wonder what happened to us,
How you ended up with her,
How I ended up alone,
It almost doesn't seem fair,
It's not fair,
How could one person cheat and justify it in their mind,
Sleep at night without being effected.
I wonder sometimes,
Does she look at you and see what I saw,
Or does she get butterflies every time you laugh,
Does she like to rub your hand and wonder why it fits so perfectly with hers?
Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder what would be of us if I could change,
If I could be older,
Like her,
If I could be prettier,
Like her,
If I could just be... her.
Sometimes I wonder if you two go on walks like we did,
If you cuddle like we did,
If you touch like we did,
Sometimes I wonder, do you tell her you love her?
What's so different about her then me?
I wonder if you think about me,
As much as I try not to think about you.
It's easier,
To put on a smile,
To tell everyone that I'm completely fine,
You walk around like nothing happened,
Then to let myself sit here,
And let everything that happened set in.
I try to be there for you,
As best as I can,
But it hurts so much,
To hear you talk about her.
I wish I could end these feelings about you.
Even though I try to erase you from my memories,
I'll go to bed tonight,
Dreaming of you.