What Now

November 1, 2011
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I stand in the hallway,
Nothing to do,
Nothing to say,

I watch as people go by,
Smiles on their faces,
Sharing jokes and laughing,

I start to think that there was a mix up of where I was to go,
New school, new kids, they pass on by,
Not noticing the new “wall flower” that stood so sad and scared,

No one really knows who I really am inside,
No one listens, and when they do they get confused,
Am I really a special person, and that’s why no one understands?
No one understands me at all
I never really felt anything for human-kind rather than their mouse-brained,
I can only talk with animals; they perk their ears and listen,
They don’t say anything; they listen before looking at me,
They look as if to say I hear you and we’re not far away,

We’re always here beside you gone, or alive,
We know how you feel don’t listen to those that pass by and call you names,
Sink into your own world and listen to what we have to say,

You know that you’re right, about violence, and what to do instead,
They push you around and knock you down,
But you know that they are typical kids that think they are “cool,”

You try to retort and defend yourself and they end up laughing,
Now that they have gone too far you trust your instincts,
Only listening to what’s inside you…

You name their position and spring,
When I get home my stepmother is worse than school…
I bury myself in a book and drift away,
And after the book is gone I run outside and submerge into my own surroundings,

I stand not moving, waiting to know what to do,
After a day I ask myself what do I do now?
Then I curl up and sink into a deep sleep and dream.

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