Silently Wishing

October 6, 2011
By Rhiannonbloss PLATINUM, Aptos, California
Rhiannonbloss PLATINUM, Aptos, California
28 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
What is depression really? Is there one concrete definition, or has the meaning loosened as our generation has continued it's downhill descent? To me, depression is simply my life. I'm not suicidal. I'm not a cutter. I don't hate the world. I don't dress completely in black. I'm just sad. I've been sad for what feels like my entire life, but that's not true. I was happy once and I can vaguely remember what it felt like, but I can't touch it. I can't get that happiness back, I don't know how. That's what depression is to me, knowing what happiness is, but never being able to touch it, to feel it.- Jenny Leigh

Every night I lay aslumber,

Eyes closed in serenity,

The corners of my mouth upturned,

As my mind finds me wandering away,

To a garden full of mystery,

Of silent grace and beauty,

Under a sky of cobalt shot with silver,

Stars shimmering and dancing in the night,

Watching me as I stroll,

Down a path edged with a thousand smiling roses,

Which leads me to your door,

You, who I will wait for,

Until the ocean ceases to flow,

Until every rose withers on its stem,

And the clouds cascade like dust.

Your door is only revealed to me while I lay asleep,

Large, regal and carved.

Though I reach for the crystal knob,

It almost seems to pull away,

As my heart cries out for you,

And begs this wretched obstacle to torment no more,

I feel it begin to turn in my hand,

Then the door is open,

And the light is shining from within,

I look to see your face,

Then find myself in a world of grey,

For you have gone so far away,

How could I have found you,

In a world so perfect?

Love is hidden in darkness,

In caves and chasms we dare not explore,

Inside of our own corrupt hearts,

Behind all the lies and betrayal,

Lies the purest of beauty and wonder,

The cherished and seldom attained force,

Which drives us to live each day.

And as I sleep it awakens,

To once more go to you in shadows,

For love could be tainted,

By the harsh and callous light.

As my eyes are closed,

My soul has opened,

To be free inside my heart and mind,

Though unattainable while awake,

During my slumber I will search for you,

The one who will love me someday,

Then, nevermore will I be alone,

Never shall I cry out of fear or pain,

Love will find a way,

To let my heart take flight,

And protect me with feathered wings,

From the scorching temptations to let it go.

Soon now as the sun rises,

It will be time to awaken,

To hide the secrets of love at night,

From the destroying daylight,

I open my eyes and it fades away,

The sweetly soft feeling,

Of the promise of love soon being found,

It retreats to a niche,

To await the sunset,

And with the moonrise,

It will awaken once more,

As I slumber silently my heart is awake to sing with the joy of an optimstic searcher

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