I was so submerged that I forgot the beauty of life above water. Here I am, wet and heavy, slipping with seaweed and itching with barnacles, and finally the hull has come up. Finally here, the eggy yolk of the sun looking at me from a thousand angles, every one seeming to me the most glorious thing ever. I wonder how I didn't realize I was missing this, down there. Holding on became comfortable, but I'm meant to be happy up here, warm and whole. Just holding on against all odds... it can't compare. Yes, I have to breathe and move and move myself to somewhere or something, but I get to do it here. Where I am happy and can feel changes in atmospheric pressure through the hairs on my skin. I can feel heat, my blood moving faster in my veins when I see that certain person, and I can say words that any person around can hear, and I can think words that no one but The One can hear. I'm walking toward the life I want. I came up here, and I'm here to stay.
November 3, 2011