November 11, 2011
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I let out a resounding scream
that echoes beyond the blank walls.
The loneliness seems to be closing in;
I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
Wherever I turn I’m met with a stare
of icy condemnation and hot anger.
I don’t understand why
I can’t be treated the same way as everyone else.
Just because I see what others miss
I see the world as it is and as it’s meant to be
I don’t cling to useless idealism
I don’t need a false comfort to feel safe.
I have my own means of confidence.
But every day the reserve is lessening.

And I thought that you could understand
just how hard it is to be alone in a room full of people.
To be the one animate in a room of blank faces.
But I’ve come to realize that you’re just like them.
You fear what you don’t understand
You hate what isn’t yours
You’re just as insecure as they all are.
Or maybe it’s me who’s insecure
but at least I can admit it.

Running through the endless hallways
I cry out desperately for someone, anyone
who could help me
find me
or at least be there.
But I see the vehement refusal in your eyes
and I won’t be insistent.
Circling, searching in the vast emptiness
I barely even know what I’m looking for.

And I thought that you could understand
just how it feels to experience a burning desire
to do something, for someone
to change, to be changed.
But I’ve come to realize that you’re just like them.
You couldn’t care less about what isn’t immediate.

Frantically I scan the room
looking for something, anything
that could ease my transgressions.
But my racing heart
can’t be stopped.
At least not by anything
in this world.

I sink to my knees.
Crying out, crying out.
Please, someone hear my cries.
I know that my companion is out there, somewhere.

And I thought you would always be
but I see that you’ve ceased
the exertion that you used to put forth.
I suppose it’s no matter of mine
except that it is.
But I see now that there is no changing
how you (the world) view me.
So I will just go on
by myself
and leave a mark of my own.
And it will be grand,
grander than you could imagine.

Your eyes have softened.
I know that you are still in there, somewhere...

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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

falling-rain said...
Nov. 15, 2011 at 11:55 am

its good... powerful.. :)


MJFleury said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 5:27 pm
I feel you deeply. I can see myself in this.
KylaK said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 2:46 pm
That was hauntingly beautiful. Although it was so dark, I related to it very easliy, it really tapped into the saddened part of my emotions...very well done
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