Brightness In Shadows

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Dream of the brightness in your eyes,
Dream of the shadows hidden in time.
Test the brightness of ascending stars,
Test the shadows of the passing weeks.
Imagine the brightness used to hide your fears,
Imagine the shadows found within true love.
Examine the brightness yet to be seen in your soul,
Examine the shadows holding to your unabiding heart.
Think of the brightness of determined minds,
Think of the shadows dwelling in unwilling friends.
Dispel the brightness of common coincidence,
Dispel the shadows manifesting in inevitability.
Brighter are the shadows of the Afternoon Morning,
Dusky is the brightness of the Nighttime Daybreak.





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HateKnuckle said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 11:39 pm
Its not as good as the other one you posted that was similar but this one is also good. its probably 4 or 3 stars. Its too choppy and it doesnt flow as easily. Sometimes less is more as in fewer syllables. I do like the message and description and descriptive vocabulary.
 
PrincessBubblegum said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 11:32 pm
I love it. I like the way you have 2 lines in a row starting the same. Normally I wouldn't like it, but it fits here. 
 
White_Demon_Rekishi replied...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 11:38 pm
Thank You!!! Yeah, I like the idea of contrasting two similar things with the good and the bad, and some of the things I come up with are as you saw. :D
 
lovelydarkpoet said...
Nov. 24, 2011 at 1:13 pm
thats really good i like it a lot
 
White_Demon_Rekishi replied...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 11:35 pm
Thank you!
 
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