The Night

October 31, 2011
By Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem


It reaches out,
It moves about,
While staying in.
And sitting, standing still.

Oh, the terror of it’s darkness
It gobbles up all within it
Devouring every creature
That wanders about within

It comes in an instant,
And suddenly is upon
All, from man to ant
It lingers for a while,
And just as soon is gone

An owl lurks upon a limb,
Hiding under its protective cover
No rodent here can see him
He swoops down, no time to hover

The Night stretches forth his hand
To feed the creatures called his friends.
Now he flies across the land
The night shall never end.


The author's comments:
This one doesn't quite seem right, there's something I just can't get to work about it.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 20 comments.


Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 6 2011 at 12:07 pm
actually, I am a lot more than one, I have used like 20 different screen names  :P   and, I like reading, can I help it?  me thinks not.  anyway, du ist sehr Welkommen!!  AAHH!!!  YOU SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING IN GERMAN!!!  (that reminds me of my writing assignment i need to do - _ -)  anyway ttyl (haha, like I'm even talking to you  :P  i am talking to myself right now.)

on Dec. 6 2011 at 11:45 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

My mistake, it's still at 4 1/2 stars, making it my lowest rated piece. Oh well, it's still pretty good, I guess.  Still, thank you! :)

Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 6 2011 at 11:44 am
well I have never seen Doctor Who and don't care to.  anyway, you two can have your own opinion I'll have mine.  (and that is that I hate possums - _ -)

on Dec. 6 2011 at 11:44 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

250 views. 5 stars. Almost 20 comments. Another piece of mine that is doing awesome, thanks to all of my fellow Inkies, and one faithful non-Inkie who reads everything I wirte.  Thanks, peeps. :)

on Dec. 6 2011 at 11:42 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

Actually, anyone who is a fan of Doctor Who knows that fear of the dark is, in fact, not an irrational fear.  We actually don't fear the dark, but creatures that immitate the dark- the Vashta Nerada, the piranas of the air. Swarms of microbial carnivorous creatures that eat pouns of flesh nearly instantly.  Oh, and did I mention that no one knows how to stop them?

Anyways, thanks for the review. :)


Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 6:04 pm
I agree, but I am not afraid of the dark.  Like you said, I am afraid of the unknown.  The animals that are hiding out in the dark where I can't see them, but they cans see me.  Such as my encounter with a possum last winter  - _ -   scared me half to death.....

Risible SILVER said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 4:09 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

Interesting poem! I do feel like you're not quite tasting what you're reaching out for. 

Something to think about...when I think of night, I think of dark, and along with dark the unknown. Humans are most afraid of what they do not understand--this is why many are afraid of the dark. 


on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:52 am

why don't you talk to me and i will give u more reasons of why not  :P 

aaaaannnnnddddd, look up the definition of dork while ur at it - _ -


on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:14 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

Yeah, you are.  You should get an account.

on Nov. 28 2011 at 8:27 pm

your welcome  =) 

{I'm such a dork.....hehehe}


on Nov. 28 2011 at 5:36 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

100 views, thanks, y'all.

on Nov. 17 2011 at 11:36 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

Yeah.  I just thought about how gloomy the night seems in the woods behind my house, and it just kind of... came to me.

on Nov. 16 2011 at 12:18 pm
RyanTyler PLATINUM, Windsor, Connecticut
21 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A myth is a religion in which no one no longer believes." James Feibleman

It gave me an un easy feeling but I would imagine that it's suppsed to. I like it though, as AnimaCordis said, it's a very good disciption of the night, almost like it's death.

on Nov. 16 2011 at 12:12 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

I never thought about that!  I guess I was too busy describing the night, and didn't think to do the same to the animals.  Thank you. :)

on Nov. 16 2011 at 1:47 am
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 132 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

I very much like this poem, i like how it makes the night seem like a living creatuer. As a point of improvement i might discribe the owl as being something like 'king of the night' to make his image more powerful, and perhaps more intimidating. 

I really like this poem, keep up the good work!


Tiggerlily14 said...
on Nov. 14 2011 at 1:49 pm

Hey!  For once we agree on something  :D

 

just keep thinking about it.....something is bound to work sooner or later


on Nov. 14 2011 at 1:45 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

No arguement, there.

Tiggerlily14 said...
on Nov. 14 2011 at 12:13 pm
well.........it just needs work, thats all....a lot.....hehehe

on Nov. 14 2011 at 12:02 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

Yeah, of the three poems I sent to Teen Ink recently, this was the one I didn't like.  To be honest, I hated it...

Tiggerlily14 said...
on Nov. 13 2011 at 10:32 pm
Okay, I'll be honest, the first two lines are okay, but I think every other line should rhyme. The first three stanzas in general need work, no offense. The fourth stanza I think the should be, "hiding IN it's protective cover". The fifth and final stanza however, is perfectamundo! Remember this is my opinion, you don't have to listen or agree with me. Altogether though, it shows that you are trying. =)


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!