The Friend Wars

November 6, 2011
By , Cicero, IN
One day it all goes well,
another we are aboard battleship.
When you feel as if it's over
the fights are just emerging.

A single remark can cause a wave,
or even a tsunami.
Finally after the storms halt,
the sun starts to glow.

Of course there will be aftershocks,
but they don't cause nearly as much damage.
When you exchange looks,
you try to hold back the tears,
the hardest moment ever.

I look,
they look,
we run towards each other for a hug.

But just until the next time.





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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

PepperMint101 said...
Dec. 17, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Nice(: Very relatable!
 
--LoveHappens-- said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 3:43 pm
I really liked this! It was very relatable and well written! Great Job
 
applesauceHater said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm
oooh. you just know what one of my friendships are. we're good again but thats friends. thats ur poem!!!!really awesome!Awesome analogy(i think thats what its meant for) or possible similies(grammer and stuff werent my fav school work).
 
Signed_DK said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:42 am

I've only heard really good people go into so much detail and explination in a poem. I love it. <3

5/5

 
LifesIllusion replied...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Thanks:) you are a great writer too!
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Wonderful poem!  I can definitely relate this to some of my friendships.  Anyway, the only thing I don't like about this poem is this:

"Of course there will be aftershocks,
but they don't cause nearly as much damage." 

It just kind of clanks.  Maybe you could do what AnimaCordis suggested and take out the 'of course.'

Other than that, excellent job!

 
LifesIllusion replied...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Thanks. I never thought of it that way. I'll definitly remember that when I publish the revised version. Thanks again:)
 
LifesIllusion said...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Please comment on how i can make it better! If you do, i will check out one your pieces too!
 
AnimaCordis replied...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I quite liked this poem 

The only thing I disliked was two lines in the middle, 'of course there will be aftershocks, but they don't cuase much damage' I understand this could be a metaphore for someone's shockc at 'a single remark' but I think you could loose the 'of course' 

That's just a suggetstion

 
LifesIllusion replied...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Thanks for the advice. I totally agree with you too. :)
 
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