Just One String

October 29, 2011
By Anonymous

We’ve all done something with life
Farm Boys and cows
Computer Programmers and technology
Household Maids and juicy gossip.

I talk to those kinds of people the most

I guess you might ask
why don’t I talk to someone else
there must be more interesting options

it’s not that I haven’t
queen elizabeth was nice
black beard was a little tipsy
caesar agustus was mean

it’s just that I know them enough
everything they say is the same
living or dead doesn’t matter.

unlike the greats of history
I’m a part of the Faceless, Nameless, People

you’ve heard us only in great passing:

We settled the west

We were sold into slavery

We died of plague.

that’s the best We’ll ever get
you can’t see all Our faces
imagine all Our names
or know all Our personal stories
because everyone who truly knew us is gone

but Susan walked the oregon trail
later on she’d be the ancestor to a president

Henry was a baby
Separated from mom at birth to be bought like cattle
His family lineage brought forth george washignton carver

Victoria died of the black death
leaving her husband to remarry

having a daughter
who would have a son and so on and so forth
until winston churchill came into the world

of it all We should stand tall
everything’s connected by the smallest strings
and if one string snaps
then the whole structure comes tumbling down.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Jan. 13 2012 at 7:13 am
kate12345me GOLD, Sydney, Other
11 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." - Thoreau
"Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on."

I like this, it's creative and it explores a very real aspect of society. It's got some good references, and it's based heavily on (I'm guessing?) your opinions of people throughout history. Just a tip, as feedback: try and think about the people you are writing about, the famous ones, and just be careful not to get carried away with your opinion and others. Stick to what YOU think. I like the comparisons, as well. 13-year-old, x

on Dec. 23 2011 at 3:57 pm
lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
40 articles 5 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life Like A Party That Never Ends

I really like your idea for this poem, and I really like how it reads like a story. The first stanza, you did a really nice job with the comparison. The three stanzas following that, I feel like are a little choppy. I feel like they could be spiced up a bit, and probably reduced like "These are the historical figures who intrigue me the most" and then go into talking about Queen Elizabeth, Black Beard, and Caesar. From there, I would reword the part about how they are all the same and how you don't find them as interesting as the others. I love the part about being faceless, nameless people! and that whole stanza after! It's beautiful, don't change it! I would add at least one more line to the stanza about Susan. I want to know more about her. Other than that, I think this is really good, but reads more like a first draft in the beginning. I really enjoyed reading this :)


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