That Awkward Moment

October 29, 2011
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That awkward moment when a best friend of yours drops of the face of the planet and is committed to chemistry when she's holding and English book.
That awkward moment when everything just seems to be going wrong until you get away but not with the person you want and its turns out its still wrong.
Everything's wrong.
That awkward moment when no one is blaming you except yourself
That awkward moment when your thrust into a situation you never thought you'd be in and eyes awkwardly scan the twenty year plan because no one told you to prepare for this.
That awkward moment when your becoming a person you never thought you would be.
That awkward moment when everything's not really awkward, just horrible and improving yourself makes other people improve their friendship circle and people you know become people you were kindamaybealmostreally close with.
That horrible moment when you have to leave the room and come back two minutes later to see if anything has changed.
It hasn't.
That horrible moment when you should be sadder than you feel and you feel bad for yourself for not feeling worse.
That horrible moment when you have no idea what your brain is telling you to do and everyday seems like a big fuzz and a week is just an extremely long blink.
That horrible moment when this is supposed to be the time of our lives and everyone just seems to be so miserable.
Just some of those moments when you know you need something and you just cant put a finger on it and it pushes you up against a wall laughing at your id, ego, and super ego, chuckling at your friends who study for eight hours for a quiz but scoffing at the ones under the influence.
Not being wrong but so far from being right.
Just being lost.
So so lost.
Having so many sins a thousand pilgrimages or indulgence couldn’t save you.
Awkwardly buying into the culture of our pumped-up-super-s*** generation.
Not knowing weather to jump or fall, buy Taylor swift of Justin Bieber but buying both cause your daddy's really paying for it.
Trying to remember that last time you were happy and remembering it was with people you don’t even know, or by yourself, it was too long ago to be sure.
That awkward moment when your just holding your breath for things to get better but just like at swim practice your coming up gasping for air.





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