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Lark's Song

I hear the whisper,
wind blowing soflty,
in my ear.
It grows louder, wider.
Like a light tearing a hole
larger,
in my heart.
I hear the Lark,
the song it sings,
fills my soul.
Bursting it open
To a whole new world,
of grief, of pain.
I could not stay secluded,
My own world wouldn't stay,
in its,
own little corner of the Universe.
A black hole
had to come.
I had to hear
the Lark's Song.



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IceFox416 said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Love it! Very thought-provoking, very well done. I just have one little bit of critisicm: The line "My own world wouldn't stay,

in it's"

 

 

Seems kind of choppy. I think it would flow better if you evened out the lines to about the same lenght, or combined them into one. But otherwise, very good!

 

4/5

 
Danealle said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Nice poem! This is really good! 
 
kingofwritersThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 8, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Does the Lark's song represent something big, like a catastrophic event that changes the narrator's life? It really makes me wonder about that.

 

I thought it was a really great poem! You used some similes and other good writing techniques that really made it good!

 

Keep it up! :)

 
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