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"The beholder"

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They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
How close must you get,
How much bolder?

I miss you two,
and me- when I was with you.
The beauty's diminished- I'm surely finished- without you, The Beholder.

I can't comprehend,
Life without you.
Can't move onto the present,
When the past is so much more rewarding.

You've moved on to new faces and other experiences.
I've stayed here,
Hoping one day,
You'll show up by surprise,
and say,
"I tried to say away.I knew I had control. I was on a roll, until I revived the beauty, the eyes, of you- The Beholder.



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Black_Rose_Princess said...
Aug. 25, 2012 at 1:38 am
Very interesting. You took a common phrase and added your own twist to it. Very creative! I loved it and I could understand the gist of it and therefore, get the most of the meaning, but yet, I still found myself a bit confused. You are trying to tell a story with this, yet, the story becomes a bit jumbled up. Yet, the poem as a whole still remains very powerfully written. Nice job!
 
Indiewriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 25, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Thank you! I can see what you're saying with the confusion and all. I wrote it while I was confused, so thats the result. haha
 
maddyhatter said...
Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:16 pm
this is very good !
 
Indiewriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 29, 2012 at 4:26 pm
thank you!
 
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