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When You Wish Upon A Star, Nothing Happens.

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You grabbed the scissors made for your left hand and cut me out of your
life. You surgically removed me so well because you are a doctor.
You took a leaf out of your favorite book and drove a stake
through my heart. When you were little, you wanted to
be a street mime, so you won’t talk as practice.
You broke my heart with your beat-up
baseball bat autographed by Ryan
Howard. You’re always the
one to take out the trash
which is why you
dumped
me.




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This article has 11 comments. Post your own!

Riley79 said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 9:51 pm:
I love the title!
 
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youngspeare said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 1:45 am:
great work! Keep it up! 
Check out my poem "Ghosts of the Past" and rate/comment? Would really appreciate it!
 
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shapeshifter56This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 6, 2011 at 7:08 pm:
I. Love. This! Great! I can't even verbalize why I like it so much! All I know is that I do!
 
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lrshapThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 3:24 pm:

oh....

well the title defenatly worked, i love your writing

 
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clumsyteardropper said...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 1:12 pm:
as said in the other comment i left for you... you've got a gift!!! :)  i know you've only been a member for, like, a little over a month... but keep posting stuff!  great job! :)
 
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lrshapThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 10:58 am:
I like it, it makes sence, but I don't really get the title...
 
GirlWhoWrote replied...
Nov. 13, 2011 at 1:01 pm :
the idea was she's wishing for them to get back together, but it didn't happen. But yeah, it's not that clear, i just wanted to have an interesting title that would make people want to read it :)
 
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AmayaSakaruta said...
Nov. 10, 2011 at 8:48 am:

this is good :D its cool how you made it getting smaller and how u were so descriptive i can really tell how you feel. (punctuation fail.)

feedback on some of my work please?

 
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FULLSTOP said...
Nov. 8, 2011 at 4:37 am:
i really like it and i completely agree
 
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book.junkieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 3, 2011 at 8:23 pm:
impossible... but it isnt...... no its impossible.... but then i suppose your the first person to actually make it true. you captured the torment of realtionships in life and being dumped. its like you placed every sarcastic or murphy's law about love in your poem. simply.left.speechless. congrats. i've. read. many. poems. but. only. few. like. yours. can. capture. reality. :) ;) ur very smart about th topic like you've suffered heartbreak. might i ask what inspired you to write this poem. also ... (more »)
 
Emily S. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 6:39 pm :
This is really really great! I love the shaping of the words, it really creates a feel of decline. It was so simple, yet said so much at the same time. Definitely keep writing, you have talent :)
 
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