Breaking.
falling.
a terminal descent.
plunging deeper
into obscure surroundings.

A pounding in my head.
in my heart.
in my hands.
a chronic dilapidation.

Failure to precede.
to push.
to go even further.
an obstruction.

No other way to go harder.
to go faster.
to let go.
No other way to be happy.

It was like a cure.
a cure for my crooked mentality.
a remedy.
a solution.
for stress.
for pain.
for depression.
my remedy has failed.

The pain returns.
floods through my veins.
pumping its agony
further toward the core.
attempting to plant its seed.
to grow.
to continue to manipulate.
to devour.
to hurt.

No other way.
to prevent the excruciating manipulation
falling into place.
no other way.
to pound it all out.
to run until my heart stops beating.
to keep me sane.
to prevent the return.
to keep the tears away.

No other way.
to.
be.
happy.