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Maybe Not So Speechless

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I desperately think of ways that we'd end up all right.
To convince, to persuade, to make a temporary plight.
Where it'd be easy to just journey through her fingers.
Where love is just love, not like now where it lingers.
Hesitant, and afraid, frightened of the possibilities.
If I just had the courage, to discuss the disabilities.
That it wouldn't even matter, this'd be easier then your first.
But you just refuse to accept that, and tears burst.
Now second thoughts like if I am even worth her time.
And I secretly write these so she can read every line.
Where I state my case with words so pointless.
Because in the end I feel like she is just voiceless.
Has no say in what she is doing, screaming it's not fair.
But what if this was just Him giving you a scare.
A test, a challenge, to see if you'd do anything for joy.
I feel like he isn't a control freak, and you aren't his toy.
Submitting to him I've been tempted to, still at that.
He loves us though, he can't look after everyone, us rats.
We just run through his alley ways as his servants.
And we smoothly slide around as sneaky serpents.
Thinking he can't watch us and our wrongdoings.
Well he knows all, and all our cadoodolings.
It just depends if we feel sorry, and accept what we did.
Then that is the only time that he can go at sins, and rid.
Would he really consider this a sin for what we wanted?
That we pursue something that he may have flaunted?
Purposely here for the taking, just see if we'd try.
Well, I am all in, but then again you'd have to lie.
Or would you, really? I mean we got easy excuses.
We could got to her house, or his house, she chooses.
But same old, same old, the women just doesn't accept.
Even if this time I feel like we had something great, now unkept.
Letting it grow out of its way and down a dark road.
Well, I still think about it hard, try to not let this erode.





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