Brother

October 18, 2011
By Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach


If I fall down
because I tripped on one of the cracks
in the black asphalt
that expanded in this morning’s frost,
and skinned my knee,
you wouldn’t be
there to help me back up,
and wipe away my tears.

We are so much more than brother and sister;
so much more than best friends.
Without you,
I don’t know how
I’ll survive.

Gone.
After days of knowing,
and dreading and dreading...
As I say goodbye,
you’ve already gone.
But my heart still whispers,
unasked and endlessly repeating:
goodbye...goodbye...goodbye...
goodbye?

I shakily believe I can make it,
and it forms a solid enough bar
to give me something to hold onto.
But I’m still testing its strength,
hoping, pleading, that it will support me,
and not vanish,
making me fall down,
like I tripped on a crack in the black asphalt.



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This article has 17 comments.


on Jan. 7 2012 at 6:03 am
Choosing2Live4Christ PLATINUM, Wausaukee, Wisconsin
28 articles 13 photos 66 comments
Well, I just recently made an account, but I did submit a poem :)

Risible SILVER said...
on Jan. 5 2012 at 5:01 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

thank you that means a lot! and I absolutely will, I love it! Do you have poems published on here?

Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 7 2011 at 9:15 am
No problem :)  you have a God-given gift!  Keep it up  :D

Risible SILVER said...
on Dec. 6 2011 at 9:49 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

I'm so glad you can relate to it and it makes sense to you in your life! Thank you so much for responding, it's great to hear people's stories in reaction to my poetry! 

Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 6 2011 at 11:39 am
I LOVE IT!!!!  I have never gotten along with my siblings very well, but one in paticular has been the worst!  but now that he is in college, 2000 miles away, I miss him, and I wish he was here.  I never realized, until he was gone, what he actually did for me.  I was always focusing on things he didn't do for me, and ways to get him in trouble, or get revenge.    This poem really touched me, and showed me what my brothers mean to me, even though they can be worst enemies at times, I wish he was hear to encourage me, and brag for me like he used to.

Risible SILVER said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 4:03 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

I'm glad you like it, I was doubting a little after the first reaction to it. 

Actually, it didn't happen to me, it's a situation one of my best friends is currently in. The emotions she was conveying to me about the situation were so powerful that I wanted to write a poem about it..et voila! 

I find sometimes that I can write the best poems by stepping into other people's shoes and trying to explain their emotions. Taking myself out of the picture means that I'm not blinded by personal interest and I can express plainly what's really happening. 

Another poem where I used this same method is My Eternal Summer. I'd love to know what you think of it. 


on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:54 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 191 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back"-Eminem

Wow, this is amazing...

Can I hear the backstory, the inspiration?  Was this something that happened to you?


Risible SILVER said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:44 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

Thanks! 

. said...
on Dec. 3 2011 at 6:44 pm
um...boosflash said that, incase youre wondering.

. said...
on Dec. 3 2011 at 6:40 pm
Haha! Fantabulous. I am loving the black asphaltness and the first and last stanza. do your dance captain. i am alos loving the openment of the poem.

illusions GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 2:28 pm
illusions GOLD, I Dontg Even Like This Town, Other
10 articles 0 photos 150 comments
wowo that really made me think.... thatys the best type of poam!!!

Risible SILVER said...
on Oct. 25 2011 at 7:24 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

thanks! you too! 

on Oct. 25 2011 at 4:44 pm
Anonymous_7 SILVER, Branson, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
-The only time you can get away with murder is when writing a book!

ok, Thanks now that you said this it makes perfect sense. Your welcome. And Keep up the good work!

Risible SILVER said...
on Oct. 24 2011 at 6:06 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

oh I see what you're saying! No, it's not because he's a bad brother that he won't be there, it's because he's been forced to leave. Thanks for the feedback! 

on Oct. 24 2011 at 5:57 pm
Anonymous_7 SILVER, Branson, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
-The only time you can get away with murder is when writing a book!

The second paragraph is what confused me. It feels like she is talking about how bad a brother he is and then how she cant live without him. But now it is much clearer, thanks!

Risible SILVER said...
on Oct. 24 2011 at 5:52 pm
Risible SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can." -Richard Bach

The beginning is talking about how if she fell down, her brother wouldn't be there to help her up...very literal! Is that what was confusing? or was it the imagery?

on Oct. 24 2011 at 5:22 pm
Anonymous_7 SILVER, Branson, Missouri
6 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
-The only time you can get away with murder is when writing a book!

The beginning of this poem is a little confusing would you mind explaining it? But I do really like it :D good job!


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