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That Girl

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She walked through those doors,
No one noticed her.
She attended their classes,
No one accepted her.
She tried out for drama,
No one wanted her.
She excelled in studies,
No one appreciated her.
She hurt herself in gym,
No one took care of her.
She ate lunch alone,
No one joined her.
She walked home by herself,
No one accompanied her.
She fell sick,
No one inquired about her.
She got hospitalized,
No one visited her.
Soon...the doctors gave up hope,
No one cheered her up.
She died in that room,
No one cried for her.
But...soon everyone felt sorry,
When they found out...
She had cancer.



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This article has 6 comments. Post your own!

Camille1234 said...
Jul. 4, 2012 at 10:31 pm:
You are really good with words. I love it how you started the story as if the girl was insecure but built it up that she had cancer. It really surprised me and that is a good thing. It wasnt predictable like writtings can be it was shocking in a good way and you should keep on writting. A talent like this is something to be proud of. :)
 
miaq96 replied...
Jul. 5, 2012 at 3:05 am :
thank you so much...feedback like this really boost up my confidence.Please go through my other work and give feedback.Cheers:)
 
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DaisyAngel said...
Mar. 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm:
Great poem! It was very sad, though. ;'( Keep up the good work!
 
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Kinzi said...
Mar. 14, 2012 at 11:49 am:
This was really quite good, but I was actually a bit confused. I had totally expected this poem to be about an insecure girl who felt like she wasn't getting enough attention, but in the end she ended up having cancer. If your aim was to sort of surprise the reader with "She had cancer" then I guess good job! But if you were trying to build up to it, then I was a little surprised. 
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 8:00 am :
Yeah I thought the same thing. I thought it was going to be about a shy or insecure girl living through life alone. Everyone paid attention and noticed when she was gone---not when she needed them most. Good work~
 
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BieberLover16 said...
Oct. 24, 2011 at 5:26 am:
That's sad :( but keep writing. That was good! :)
 
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