Deleted From My Life

By
Couldn't you have imagined the debris
Falling around us when you left us shattered in pieces?
We were all devastated
We will never be comparable to before
I thought I saw a glimmer of hope in the future
Sparks of love
Springs of happiness
Or even just a comment
Just to see that smile
Stretching my cheeks
Pleading the dimples out
With the little glitter
Twinkling in my eyes
Joyous as if I were a kid again
But once again you have crushed all my dreams
Leaving me like a deer smashed by a car on the side of the road
Almost as if you love torturing me
I squirm and you laugh
I cry and a grin creeps across your face
I call and you ignore
Is it that much to ask for a decent dad?
Must be because you are the worst I have seen
I try to make an effort and it’s like you shove me away
You close me out of your fairytale life
Your new house family and social life
Almost like hiding me under a rock
As if you were embarrassed of me
Your only true blood daughter
All I want is to be accepted
Something no daughter should need to ask of her father
Now my days have all turned to black
Seeing your face or even hearing your name drives me insane
I no longer will try to contact you or drive to see you
I thought it would be enough to offer but you always need more
It’s like you use me
Wringing my body until I’m dry of any help
I’ve given you all I have
But you give nothing in return
You say you’ll buy me anything I need but
Money can’t always cover everything
It will never cover the pain you have caused
The years of demented injury to my heart
Or the eternity of depression you exerted onto MY family
Not including the toll you added by driving MY brother into his addiction
You may pay his bills but that won’t cover the years of life he has lost
One day I hope it all comes back to you
Or that one day you will realize the damage and disaster you created
But when and if you do I can promise I won’t be here waiting
You will forever be separated from me
No communication
No feelings
No respect
And mostly
No love
You have created this wall of war
And I am determined to win.





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