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There the lily sits

There the lily sits in a serene, blissful pond, 
where the luminous glow of the moon shines upon it.
There the lily sits remaining untouched by any living being,
for its beauty is too rendering.
There the lily sits with lucrative, silvery petals,
that sway softly in the gentle wind.
There the lily sits,
and there, it will forever remain.



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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

4Fou4 said...
Jan. 22, 2012 at 3:37 pm
I really like this poem. The imagery is beautiful and the mystic feel to it is superb. I just feel that though the repetition is strong, there could be a better flow to it
 
Acastillo replied...
Jan. 22, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Ok thanks for the Feedback:D
 
ChaoticBliss said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 11:07 pm

You used imagery so beautifully, I could imagine and see the lily so clearly, from your descriptions. It really brings us to see, and to notice the true beauty of nature, the flowers around us. (:

Love it<33

 
RayBaytheDinosaur said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Love your imagery, it makes the scene seem so... mystical =)
 
Metaphor said...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 3:12 pm
You created a great voice through this.
 
Acastillo replied...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Thanks, that is what I was trying to do,Express my voice through poetry.
 
Branden N. replied...
Jan. 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm
I really like the repetition, which is good in poetry, but it would be even better if it were coupled with a good rhythm. That can be accomplished by modifying the "sentences" into fragments.
 
Acastillo replied...
Jan. 16, 2012 at 10:23 pm
Ok thanks for the advice Branden, I will definitely will try that next time
 
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