Toby lies
Deep inside
The carnation at which he hides.
He has been
Trapped within
This fallacy of bone and skin.
He remains physically silent,
Psychologically violent,
As his anger brews to tears.
His name is not called,
As some would be appalled,
Further deepening his fears.
The pressure grows
The expansive woes
As he begins to reach out;
He finds his friend
Who'd always been
By his side, no doubts.
He speaks soft, afraid,
Frightened of what's said
As a tear escapes his eye.
He apologizes,
He never cries it's
Just that he doesn't understand why.
He's been here
For seventeen years
Yet neglected by all he knows;
He'd always said
"Take these off my head,
I hate wearing ribbons and bows!"
What is unknown
About his skin, his bones,
Is that he is not as he appears.
His preferred name
Is not the same
As directed through his peers.
He may seem
As a girl who gleams,
Shines within her light;
However all the while
He's lived in denial
That his body is just not right.
He's lived a lie,
Confused as to why
His body didn't develop right;
His estrogen
Makes him hate his skin
As he pulls at his bra, too tight.
He hates himself,
Wishing for wealth,
So as to correct his problem;
Yet too afraid
To end the facade
And change to masculine from femme.
He shrinks further within
The depth of his skin
To keep from drawing attention,
As he conforms
To societal norms
And to his true form shuns.
Toby lies
Deep inside
This carnation at which he hides.
For seventeen years
He's been here,
Clutching to his fears.