From This to That

October 10, 2011
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I was the girl
Who was afraid of things I didn’t know
afraid of even going to the bathroom
by myself
because of the ‘monsters’
that hid in the closet
or under the bed
or at the end of the hallway
At 4 in the morning
where you can’t see anything around
Because the sun hasn’t risen
into the sky yet

I was the girl
Who thought she knew everything
about life
about others
But soon was disproved
that what I actually knew
about everything around me
Was so very little

I was the girl
Who wished for a little sister,
someone to keep me busy
when there is nothing to do
in such a big house with only my mom
But instead
i got not only one
but two sisters and two brothers
That came from a completely different father and mother

I was the girl
Who wasn’t sure where
I was supposed to be,
in a world that judges you
by everything you do
Found out though, that I don’t need
a place to be
Me

I was the girl
Who wanted to be mature
when I was little
because mature people
always looked so cool
from my little blue eyes
that I couldn’t be at that stage
but now
i just want to be
Little again
because life seems to difficult
for someone who has to be so mature
And act like an adult

I am the girl
Who sees the glass partially filled
because there is still so much
Left to do
like skydive
Or swim the Barrier Reef

I am the girl
Who daydreams about the
impossible
of creating objects that could be useful
but cannot be made
But fails at the
possible and plausible
of doing something as
Simple as my homework

I am the girl who speaks up
when speaking up is so hard to do
when others can’t say a
Word
because the authority tries to keep us
Quiet

I am the girl
Who has the courage
to stand and speak
yet knows when to
Sit and listen

I am the girl
Who wants to be independent
from family, friends, and the world
but still depends on others
To get me there

I am the girl
Whose head is so full of ideas
of different paintings or stories
that I can’t even figure out
Where to start

I am the girl
Who sometimes forgets about herself
Because I put others first
seeing that they are more important
than myself

I am the girl
Who ignores all the obstacles
of life’s problems and struggles
just trying to slowly get by
Little by little
to get where I want to be in life

I am the girl
who sometimes is impatient
but still waits for everything
and anything in life

I am the girl
who’d rather follow her own beat
of her heart
or the drums
And ignore the rest
that rumble around me
trying to block out my own
so that I have to follow the others

I am this girl.
I am me.





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