Who He Was

September 26, 2011
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He was a slender boy who grew into a slender man
A numb shadow in the depths of his own mind
When I grew older my views of him grew empathetically different
He was always looking out for me, he seemed blessed from the start

He was a helpless soul, God couldn’t save him now
His own mind became a burden to him as the years went on
At first he treated his lack of lucidity with prescription medicine
And as life stole his pride, he now treated it with drugs

He was fragile and nurturing, his bright blue eyes were pure and innocent
But now we question his ability to play the game of life, or in this case even start it
Will he ever wake up from his unbalanced hallucinations
Reality never even scratched the surface of this distracted apparition

He was misleading and misguiding
Lying his way through his shameful life
Sometimes, we gave up on trying to bring him back
Because every time he came back, he always seemed to fade

When we were young, we would play together until the sun went down
We made a tree fort together with our initials engraved
We sat on the roof top of our house pondering the life we knew
I asked him when I was young if he would die before me

He was a somebody who knew everybody but himself
I ask myself what happened to this young hearted boy
Could he ever silence his aggression, rage and addictions
Could he ever come home and be wanted

He was always loving, but cold at heart
Some days I believed it was the last time I would see him
On my 17th birthday he wrote me a note
I’d realized he hadn’t changed much from when we were young

He was still a vulnerable little boy at heart
With a cross tattoo shielding his body God showed him the way
Lost in a body of destruction
His young blue eyes faded to an old grey

He was gentle and full of life
But death kneeled within his shadows
I loved him like my brother
I only say this because he wasn’t much of a brother

He would try to hide his own recklessness from his baby sister
But I wasn’t blind to the truth
As his life goes on, so does the severity of his troubles
And I wonder will I ever see my own brother die before I?

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