October 4, 2011
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You entered my thresh hold without asking me
You carved your name in to my flesh like you own me
Like you even had the permission to be there in the first place
You took what you thought was your based on what?
Drunken smiles and kisses that happened at the time
Now when I wake up from my nightmare
I still have the pounding headaches and
The pain of not remembering last night
Your slow and steady breaths
Dancing on my skin it’s like
Tiny razor blades dancing blissfully without knowing my pain
So when I try to gather my clothing from off of the floor
I’m also trying to gather the pieces of my now shattered life
As I try to remember and forget the events of that night
You wake up with a smile on your lips and a glisten in your eyes
It covers me in shame and I just want to break down and cry
So I run away from you and your bed because
It took last night events and threaded them in your bed sheets
So I hate the person I see in the mirror when I should
Be hating the person that did this to me, But
I allowed this to happen to me
I feel shun by my peers to be labeled as a ho or slut
Because of the lies that were told behind my back
That I loved every moment of it and how I put claw marks on your back
So when I see you around every nerve and cell in my body is repulsed
I feel like regurgitate everything till I'm nothing but flesh and bones
I hate the feeling that you trusted upon me making me feel
Vile and tainted as a human being
I feel pleaged as I try to love someone and possibly myself again
It would be nice to find someone that possibly believe in me
Who knows it was not my fault that I didn’t want this to happen
Ill rise from the ashes with the fire that burns inside me
I have emotional scaring, but I’m not gone brake down and cry
Not anymore because every tear, every feeling, and every bad memories about that night gives you more power. I will not let you control me anymore as I look forward.

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trblue said...
Jul. 9, 2012 at 1:59 am

Insider i was channeling everything i was reading form thig good book


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