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Can I Forgive Myself?

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All the things I have done
I regret
All the things I have said
I am sorry
All the lies I've told
I swallow them down
All the hurt I've caused
Let now be mine to bear

I can't pull back words
I can't make you forget
I can't beg and plead and hope
For what I don't deserve

But I do

I wait for my heart to break
Before I try to mend it
I let this cocoon wrap me tightly
Until I can't breath
Then I set aflame

I tell a sea of stories
Weaving a person with my face
My eyes
My lips
And my skin
Though she will never be me
When I try to see her reflection
I see a cracked version of myself
Until I can't look anymore
Until I take my fist to that glass
And shatter this intricate world
That I've woven around myself

It falls before in blood and shards

I do it for me
I do it for you
I do it for everything I should be
I do it because I'm done

Hiding...

Crying...


Lying...



Dying...

I'm done
But can you forgive me?
Can I forgive myself?

Or am I too late for either of us

I whisper every night
For the answer in my dreams





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