I want to hide
To curl upon my fears
Deep inside myself
Away from expectations, pity

I'm not bitter
It was for the best
I say it a thousand times
And I believe it, with my mind

My heart aches
This is new, this uncontrollable
Whirlpool inside of me
Wishing for what I never had
What I never asked for, never wanted

I am not blue, not black
I am white, the color
Not of sadness, nor regret
But emptiness that holds
No tears, only quiet sadness
Newborn and already ancient

All this happens in a second
I wind regrets around my heart to quiet it
Gently soothe your echoes, and
Hope that you can see enough to be blind

I open my eyes, promise myself
That I will sing someday, when
I can pay in pain instead of sorrow
Take this hurt inside to turn to
Stubborn pride
Even that is better than uncertainty

Yes, I will not give up. I am strong,
Have I not proved that? I will
Color my lips red with blood,
Rescue beauty from the storm
So I may hold it for forever

Until I stop loving, I will grieve
I accept it and stand tall, unwavering
In defeat that will not come

You understand, so far away
I'll never break until I heal
Under this dark moon