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Burning Cold

By , council bluffs, IA
Piercing blizzards that eat hands
Bodies turning blue
Frost bite see the chance to attack
as vision gets struck down.
by a blistering white out

If it were to be painted
this horrid scenery
the canvas would be blank white
for there is NOTHING to be seen
Stuck in a white Blanket
Unable to move
but wanting so desperately to be
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IamtheshyStargirl said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm

This is quite good, however, I rather think some of the wording could do with re-writing. I'm not sure what you're trying to say with "Blizzards that eat hands", and some of your grammer/wording is very confusing. 

All in all, though, this is a very good poem with a lot of potential! Thanks for sharing, never stop writing. 

 
thefamoustrapper said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm
i feel like this sometimes, just never thought of a way to express it! really fabulous job, once again im jelous! keep writing!
 
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