Million Times Better

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Seeing the world as a
sand box,
will always be a
Million
times better than seeing it as a
filing cabinet.

Using finger paints to
express feelings,
will always be a
Million
times better than using
The Finger.





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Kev-Girl said...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 10:35 am

I like the idea of the poem, but I do have a couple things to say. One, I think it might flow a bit better if you wrote it like this; 

 

Seeing the world 

As a sand box, 

Will always be 

A million times better 

Than seeing it as 

A filing cabinet. 

 

Get what I mean? Another thing would be that I think the poem could be longer. But it's really good! I love the last stanza! haha great jo... (more »)

 
turtlepenguin replied...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 10:42 am
Thanks :) Yea, that does make sense. I did have another stanza in there but my teacher didn't like it so I took it out...
 
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