How stupid I was.
I grew up with the pattern, I learned to expect it.
That everyone leaves, that people won’t stay.
That everything ends.
And I was expecting it to happen again, when it always happened.
But it didn’t, and I was so surprised….and so happy.
So happy that maybe this time, things were going right.
Now, I’m not sure, maybe it was just belated.
That I got my hopes up, that things were better.
Everything’s crashing down.
But look at me! Look at me making it seem like cruel fate’s fault.
Now I know it’s me.
I’m such a bad person, and people were somehow misled that I was good. I tried convincing them, but they wouldn’t see. And so I believed, in that hope, that maybe I was something. But now you can see, can see that I was right.
That’s something, that I’m always right, but I don’t believe myself, people don’t believe me, and there’s regret in everything when I say I told you so.
You should have known better.
That I’m not worth it.