Break my Heart, then Fix It

How can you make me so strong
and so weak at the same time?
With you
I can conquer the world,
throw my life onto a single wire, soaring above the known
build muscles,
fall in love,
sleep beneath the fiery shooting starts, live in a world that’s too much like a dream,
but you weaken me
my heart flutters, my legs crumble to dust,
my thoughts melt away, floating through the clouds with you.
I know who I am with you
but I’m powerless, lost in you,
lost in us
and I love it.

How do you break my heart
and put it back together?
In the same breath, in the same smile that dances across your pink lips,
I die.
And I’m born again
your fingers tracing the lines of my skin, holding me tight forever
until forever ends.
Your distance from me aches
my heart shatters,
where are you when I need you?
You’re with me
but I need you besides me
in my world, our own world
and not in my head, where dreams and memories collide and I can’t
remember if you are actually real
or I just wish you were.

I can’t breathe with you
I can’t breathe without you.

And then
you hold my hand
you lie down in the dirt beside me
we climb the tallest peak
your burning brown eyes melt into mine
and then it’s real.
All my broken pieces
are not broken anymore.

I didn’t know how lonely I was until now,
didn’t know how much I needed you until that moment
the moment we laughed
angels
singing together
we became one.
Sleeping together in the airplane seats,
heads resting on each other, wish I’d known you then.
Wish I had known what we would become,
how much I would love you,
could have saved myself wasted time,
living in a world without your love
but I didn’t know
just how numb I was
how you would shock me, burn me with your fire, blind me with your light,
make me never want to fall asleep again
Now I know
we’re electric.

Why can’t I control myself with you?
I’m a mess.
You deserve better
but I can’t leave you.
I’m scared of how much I love you
scared of how much I need you
how I couldn’t live if you were to slip away
Don’t leave me
Don’t you dare leave me.

My scattered thoughts
throbbing chest
glassy eyes, forever searching for myself in yours
are for you
because I love you.
You whisper sweet sounds in the open night
tell me you love me
and I never want to wake up from this dream.

You kill me. You complete me.
I don’t understand.
I don’t want to.
I don’t need to.

I love you.





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