i can see it, dont go mistaking me for an idiot, everyone sees it and i know that you go around, you're true happiness blotched out by you're not so secret pain but whats killing me is the fact i don't know if i could take it away even if i wanted to.i've always wondered just what exactly was wrong with you but in the end its always up to you and so i wont push you to tell me if you don't want to. just don't go twisting yourself up inside with your best efforts to keep it all bottled up behind those eyes. it's getting harder to tell your real smile from a forced one, if it's really that hard then spare me and don't give me one because each one strays through my thoughts like a dozen gun bullets shot through my brain and though its yours i'm left with the pain. I'm not quite sure that you've noticed but its the littlest things you do , like the way you set youre fingers dancing across those piano keys that make me smile in awe to the point it gets me nervous and all i can do is plug in my headphones to convince myself your not there and im all alone. its the only way i wont feel myself tremble knowing i'm so easily effected by someone who's abscense could unintentionally put me through hell. it puts me to shame not knowing jus what this is that i feel and all i can do is wonder if its all worth it or if i'm just making a big deal out of you when i know if i said these words to you, you wouldn't feel the same... but thats why love or whatever this feeling is and life in general is like a game right? we try to solve the puzzles till the pieces fit right. thats why we struggle and stumble through our fogs of and thoughts of confusion ...just in hopes that we'll get to see what we love and fight for in a more beautiful light... i'm so tempted to start a war over you but i don't know if you even want to be fought for, so what do i do? i don't know, i'll leave that up to you.... but what will i do? i will fight with you in you're fights even when its not my fight to fight, i'll stand by you even when i myself feel to weak to, i'll be a good friend to you and show you that i have you're back even when no one seems to, i'll listen to you even when it's not something i want to hear i'll lend you my heart and ear. thats what i'll do simply because i feel its why in this thing we call life i met you.
" I fight for you."
September 24, 2011