Just another Day | Teen Ink

Just another Day

September 24, 2011
By damienallan BRONZE, Middletown, Pennsylvania
damienallan BRONZE, Middletown, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Just another twenty-four hours,
Locked in my own mind.
I live with it though,
Just a new day to think and unwind.

The dreary days begin to tie me down,
Limit every move I make.
More sleep is what I need,
How many more pills do I have to take?

A cool night’s chill begins to creep up my back,
And I’m halfway through a bottle of Ativan.
I forgot why I’m even doing this,
I’m just a silhouette of a pathetic man.

Everything gradually slows down,
But my mind’s still trying to race the clock.
It feels like I’m untouchable now,
And the clock goes on with the melody -- tick, tock, tick, tock.

Hours drag on,
Minutes become a long strain.
Still I can’t help but forget,
Everything you did to my brain.

You laugh at me still,
Pointing out all of my little mistakes.
Wait until I finally realize what you really are,
And the uncontrollable monstrosity inside me awakes.

This isn’t a f***ing joke,
After all the bulls*** you put me through.
I can’t believe I was so stupid,
All the conclusions I never drew.

Do you think I like living this way?
Now it’s the only life I know.
Maybe one day I’ll change,
I’m just a malnourished seed waiting to grow.

People say,
Everything happens for a reason.
I’m not a religious man though,
So this subject makes my mind go blank like it’s freezin’.

I just don’t believe this,
No one would’ve predicted this coming doom.
The product of rage and love,
But the real fault belongs to whom?

I believe it’s you.

The author's comments:
My inspiration for this piece was froma phase in my life that involved daily acts of self-medication and a downward spiral into a very dark place. I hope people learn from this piece that it is acceptable to feel like this sometimes, but when it begins to eat away at you it becomes dangerous.

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