Death.. Hurts like hell

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Death.
I still cant believe it.
Your gone..
The last tI'me we talked..
The last tI'me we talked things didn't go to well.
I was jealous of your girl,
You were in a bad place, declaring love for not one, but three girls.
All of whom you broke the hearts of.
But here sits silly old me, naive enough to fall into the trap again, stupidly thinking that something was going to change from the first tI'me you said "I love you" ya. right.
By the way, how much of it do you actually mean?
You texted or called every day, saying hey gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, cutie etc. You ended everything with i will love you forever my soul mate.
Again, ya... right!
A couple months later i could tell something was wrong, the way you avoided and didn't talk to me anymore, the way things were tense and awkward....
I should have known it was coming, because sure enough 4 days later i was sitting there, heart bleeding, cracked, and raw, as i read and re-read that text over and over.
"I'm sorry Hun. I cant do this anymore. I don't love you. Sorry. Bye"
Tears were flowing freely over my cheeks and pooling onto the soft white carpet below, where they stuck like dew on a flower in the morning.
I was like that for days, weeks, until finally 3 months later you decided to talk to me again.
"Hey you texted, I'm sorry for all that has happened, i was stupid and a jerk, can we please just try and be friends?"
So we are at that point, everything all fine and dandy...
Until i get a text from Jen, saying "Kotas dead, he was in a car crash that Derek intentionally did."
I was in shock.... and once again the tears fell, full of loneliness and emptiness, void of love.
Numb.
Dark.
Depressing.
As i stand today writing this, i hope you can at least sense I'm writing this, for you.
I loved and will always love you in some way Kota <3
R.I.P Dakota
<3<3<3





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