I've been missing you alot lately...
More than usual...
I visit you alot lately...
More than usual...
I feel like i'm losing you lately...
Moew than usual...
I used to be abke to close my eyes and see you smiling face...
Your eyes liek burning reflections of the sun...
Piercing straight through my heart...
I used to be able to take a deep breath and smell you...
Smelling like the cologne you always would wear...
So sweet, but with just enough of a bang to make your nose tingle...
I used to be able to reach to the sky and feel your fingers wrapped tight around mine...
Then brushing across my cheek so lightly, it felt like nothing more than the cool summertime breeze...
The touch that kept me completely sane when nothing else could...
But now, sitting by your grave...
I feel nothing...
I don't see you, and haven't for a while...
I don't smell you, and haven't for a while...
I don't feel you, and haven't for a while...
My heart, lying under me...
I reach out for you, but I find nothing...
Lying between us, a metal headstone...
Reminding me that you died eight years ago...
Reminding me that the only thing I have left are my memories...
I want so bad to see you...
I used to be able to see you whenever I wanted...
But you haven't been around for a while...
I never thought I would really lose you...
But slowly I have...
Like February 23, 2003 all over again...
The flowers I brought you a few months back are different...
Faded, like an old car that sat in the sun too much...
Faded, from red to lemonade pink...
Faded, from blue to s pool water mist...
Faded, from yellow to snow white...
Faded away kind like you have...
Even though you died eight years ago, I never really lose you...
Alot like hunger, it goes away for a couple hours, but it always comes back...
Inside I know you're gone...
Really deep insude, I know you've been gone...
But even deeper inside, I know I haven't accepted it...
I know I never will...
The pain grows...
Stabbing, piercing my already shattered heart...
Nothing I can do but remember...
I trace the letters of your name...
My fingertips smoothly turning with each jagged edge of each letter...
The wind blows my hair...
Normal, except there's no breeze...
I've been out here for 3 hours...
Talking to you...
Thinking...
Hoping...
Wishing...
But none of that matters...
You're gone...
And even though we're only six feet apart...
I couldn't possibly be...
Farther From You...