sadness

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Tears flow down my face
lonlieness creeps in my soul
trying to wipe away the pain
remembering you makes me strong
you were my life
you were my brother
rascel





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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

cookiegirl said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 12:44 am
Wow. This is amazing and beautiful:). I love this poem.
 
mrsenesitive replied...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 12:47 am
thank you baby
 
BreakingBrooke said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:06 pm
this is amazing because although it is short, it is strong. it has so much feeling. this poem carries sadness and lonliness but it also carries love
 
mrsenesitive replied...
Dec. 8, 2011 at 10:05 am

thank you i really appreciate it

 

 
mrsenesitive said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 10:10 am
thanks i really appreciate the critisism and ill be posting more in a couple days
 
mrsenesitive said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 10:09 am

but thanks

 

 
mrsenesitive said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 10:08 am

i could do better

 

 
MeaghanSeesStarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 8:34 am

honestly, it's just okay.

Loneliness, tears, etc. It''s very overdone and this isn't too creative, compared to what you could have done. The only part that was unique was Rascel. I want to know more about Rascel, why he died or if he's just gone somewhere.  Next time you write, put a little more personality into it, not just a cookie cutter poem. I believe you have the potential to write something really good about this "Rascel"

 
Erin M. said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 6:54 am
I like your poem its realy good and kinda sad at the same time, but keep up the work!!!! :)
 
mrsenesitive said...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 10:23 am
hey people comment on this plz i wanna know if its good 
 
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