sadness

September 23, 2011
By MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Tears flow down my face
lonlieness creeps in my soul
trying to wipe away the pain
remembering you makes me strong
you were my life
you were my brother
rascel


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This article has 10 comments.


on Dec. 25 2011 at 12:47 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
thank you baby

cookiegirl said...
on Dec. 25 2011 at 12:44 am
Wow. This is amazing and beautiful:). I love this poem.

on Dec. 8 2011 at 10:05 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

thank you i really appreciate it

 


on Dec. 7 2011 at 8:06 pm
RaveFire PLATINUM, Vancouver, Washington
32 articles 1 photo 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes You Have To Give Up Your Life To Save It." ~some book that i don't remember the name of

"Live Life Like There's No Yesterday" ~ random billboard

"If No One Can Hurt You, Then Nobody Loves You" ` ~ Kerli?

this is amazing because although it is short, it is strong. it has so much feeling. this poem carries sadness and lonliness but it also carries love

on Oct. 6 2011 at 10:10 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
thanks i really appreciate the critisism and ill be posting more in a couple days

on Oct. 6 2011 at 10:09 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

but thanks

 


on Oct. 6 2011 at 10:08 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

i could do better

 


on Oct. 6 2011 at 8:34 am
Amsterdamsel DIAMOND, Henderson , Nevada
54 articles 2 photos 69 comments

honestly, it's just okay.

Loneliness, tears, etc. It''s very overdone and this isn't too creative, compared to what you could have done. The only part that was unique was Rascel. I want to know more about Rascel, why he died or if he's just gone somewhere.  Next time you write, put a little more personality into it, not just a cookie cutter poem. I believe you have the potential to write something really good about this "Rascel"


Erin M. said...
on Oct. 6 2011 at 6:54 am
I like your poem its realy good and kinda sad at the same time, but keep up the work!!!! :)

on Oct. 4 2011 at 10:23 am
MrsensitiveE GOLD, Apple Valley, California
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments
hey people comment on this plz i wanna know if its good 


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