Goodbye for now.

September 10, 2011
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When I saw you
Come and sit next to me,
With your eyes so blue,
I felt like I could hardly breath.

You said "would you like to
come on a walk with me?"
I said yes, then you
took me to see
Your favorite place
then you handed me a mirror
to see the smile on my face
As you drew nearer.

Then you took my hand
and said "hey, do you believe in
'Cause I believe
that you were meant for me."

Then I was delighted to see
You get down on one knee
And take out a ring
And say "Will you marry me?"

I hardly muffled a yes
'Cause I was hugging your neck.
It felt like all day
That we remained that way.

So as I stand here,
Looking down at your pale, lifeless face,
I let my tears fall on your chest,as I chase
That memory
Of you and me.

The good times we had
and the things we got to do.
The giggles and laughs
The jokes you told me, and I told you.

But now that is done
Because you are gone.
But still forever
our love will carry on.

And even though the light
is gone from your eyes,
I embrace you,
to say goodbye.
And it's almost as if I can hear you
telling me it's gonna be alright.
'Cause I will see you
In another life.

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This article has 30 comments. Post your own now!

leah_bee said...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Wow! This was really amazing; it was sad but the way you wrote it gave the reader hope. The only thing is the way the first stanzas start with "then" if you cut that out it would make them stronger. Also don't put that quote thing it ruins the flow. Overall amazing!!!
Kev-Girl replied...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Why, thank you very much! And the whole quote thing was an accident. it was supposed to be actuall quotation markes like " ", but it changed when it was put on the site! Or do you mean to get rid of the quote marks all together? Anyway, thanks for the comment! :)
Regs_the_Shorty said...
Oct. 1, 2011 at 11:39 am
I liked it a lot it was sad but you wrote it in a great way :) 5 stars out of 5 stars
Kev-Girl replied...
Oct. 2, 2011 at 11:42 am
Thanks! It really means alot to me! :)
ReadWriteBreathe said...
Sept. 29, 2011 at 7:34 pm
This was so sad, in a great way. I like how you don't directly tell the reader that the guy in the story is dead, how you just say "so as i stand here, looking down at your pale, lifeless face," I really liked this.
Kev-Girl replied...
Sept. 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Thank you very much. It means alot to me. :)
dark_armor1 said...
Sept. 27, 2011 at 8:37 pm
 wow well written! i really liked it :)
Kev-Girl replied...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 11:30 am
Thank you. :)
Kev-Girl said...
Sept. 27, 2011 at 8:31 am
Thank you very much! This particular poem did not actually happen to me, but when I think of people I know and other people who have gone through this, I start writing in the eyes of that person. Thank you for the comment, and if there is any work of yours I would be happy to give feedback! Oh, and this is only my first piece on the actuall website, but I still have more in the forums, and I will be adding more to the website in the next week or two! Thanks again! (wow, this reply was loger than... (more »)
andromeda13 said...
Sept. 26, 2011 at 8:41 pm
Wow, this was really deep. Is the poem based on something that has happened in your life? I thought it was very deep and emotional, you are a true writer, please I would like to hear more from you.
Taphephobia This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 2, 2011 at 10:43 pm
This is a really good poem! I recently went through a sort of loss, not through death, but I kinda know the feeling still and it can be really hard. You really did a good job of showing the right emotions.
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