Romeo and Juliet

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Into the bleeding heartland we escape through the burning night
The black eroticism of lightning
Chasing our tattered skeletons
We dodge electric raindrops and skin ourselves on scarecrows
Leap waterfalls and hide in aubergine gullies
Race over cliffs and under mountainsides
Scrape our knees on glaciers and freeze our souls across the ice
Scull across furious dancing oceans
and in the end arrive…

here.
In the blinding white solitude of nothing
Where we can live forever
In each other’s
Bones.





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beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 4:26 pm
A little dark and intense for Romeo and Juliet. I like your word choice and use of imagery, but I must admit I'm a little confused about your intent with this poem. It speaks of --I'm guessing--Romeo and Juliet on a terrifying journey, overcoming obstacles to be together. But after that, they can only meet in death---together forever. Is that right?
 
snaomi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 11:11 am
You know I wrote this a while ago and don't really recall my original intent. It certainly seems to be a darker retelling of the story -of do you think that works? Are there lines and images that strike you or fall flat to you? Thanks so much for your feedback!
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 11:21 am
The poem begins strong---I especially like the descriptions: "black eroticism of lightning", "tattered skeletons", and "electric raindrops." I got the sense that the two were on a wild and dangerous quest to find acceptance of their star-crossed love, but failed. The ending was a paradox for me---"living together in each other's bones." I can only assume that they are both dead right?
 
snaomi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 11:45 am
Yes, it is definitely a reference to their death at the end. The idea that their love can live on through through their death; I like the image of their bones being intertwined in the grave. What do you think?
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm
It's tragic which is great for Romeo and Juliet. Good reference to the ending of the original work.
 
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