Words are everything. They create joy, express emotion, and they can also bring pain. These simple words that can create a lifetime of misery are a recording on repeat; a tape played over and over again. As the sun rises, my hell begins. My fingers fail for sound barriers as one word after another is forced into my ears. I was always told not to care what others think, but if this is what the ones I look up to, the ones I’m with everyday of my life believe, shouldn’t I do the same? Shouldn’t I believe these words that fall like rain drops from their lips and constantly drown me in despair? Although one might say that anger is to blame for these words, and that they are insignificant, these words are of great meaning to me. Constantly enforced to believe that I am what these words say, makes me who I am. I am these words that put a hole inside my fragile heart. I am these words that fill my mind with sorrow. I am these words that ferociously knock down the wall inside my soul brick by brick. I am these words, but I yearn to be something more.
September 15, 2011