Playing With Matches

I play with matches to escape
to burn a hole in these paper walls
to escape my chained existence.

I feel something else inside, pushing to the surface.
My internal opposite.
The girl who takes risks, lies, and disobeys

It sounds bad but it's freeing
I have choices and power
to get what i want

I probably never will go back
she will never fully recede back inside
I'm not afraid of that I'm afraid of him

The power I have already entrusted him and the more that will come
The power to break me
I never let it get that far before

The thought, he might be different
is bone chilling, heart shattering, gut retching - ly
Terrifying