I Can Still Hear Your Dreams

September 2, 2011
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I heard you
When you said I was everything
I heard you
When you said forever
I heard you
When you said we'd be okay
And I heard you
Every time you said you loved me

But you changed the rules
In an hour or two
To suit a fancy
That only suited you
And with a heart of steel
You barred me from our love

I had suddenly become nothing
I had become the one thing I feared
The one thing you said
You will never become
You became my Tormentor
Dangling our memories by a thread
Like they meant nothing

I guess they did
Mean nothing I mean
That photo that sat on you table
Diamonds in her eyes
And colors in her cheeks
I am not her anymore
You have stripped me
Of my crest-fallen jewels
And plucked the roses
Of what remained of my youth

I close my eyes at night
And see you
As I always have
But these nights you have changed
Dark circles under your eyes
Pain on your sleeve
Leftover from the overflow
Of your heart

I mopped your tears with my hair
I cleaned your hands
With my blood
I slowly un-stitched my heart
From the wound that had been there
And cleaned the holes
With my tears

And I carried my heart
To the willow tree
That had for so long symbolized
The death of another
But now had become your face
I left my heart
For the better half of healing grace
I couldn't bear to leave you there

I heard your dreams last night
You saw me standing
Hanging in that void
But I told you I would always fall
And that no amount of pressing
The button in your hand
Would keep me here

Except now
Your face was clean of tears
Determination absent
From the lights of your eyes
You pressed the button
Of obligation now
No longer to save me
But because you thought you had to

I can still hear your dreams
And I'm trying to remove my image
But it is difficult
When you won't let it go
I still see how you once saw me
Clad in simple elegant white
My hair red hair long in fire rings

I can still see the way
You dreamed your face would look
When you saw me
So full of awe and wonder
And your heart brimming with love
But another will take that place
As always I told you would

She will be your everything
She will be the light of your world
She'll tell you she loves you
And mean it
And you'll say it back
And you'll forget all about me
As always I told you

She will be wearing white for you
Someday
Carrying a handful of flowers
And love in her heart
You will stand in awe and wonder
And I will be but a faint memory

I can hear your future dreams
Of your beautiful blushing bride
No hanging over the abyss
No button in hand
You will dream
Of her beauty
Of her love for you
Of her next to you in your bed
When you are old and decrepit

And I will hold that picture
You gave me all those years ago
And wonder where you are
And how you fare
I'll wonder after your happiness
And see you in my mind
Bouncing your child on your knee

And I will be gone
From sight and mind
A thousand years from now
No one will ever remember my name
But they'll know those same stars
That we gazed at those years ago
I will be dust and bones
Past the age of worm-food
But you'll dance among those stars
And you'll pour across the Earth
In the rain we danced in
All those years ago

I will feel you across my bones
Living rain
To drown out the reek of death
If only for a few moments
I'll remember, in my hole
Your love so long ago
And remember
What I gave up
What I lost
Because of teenage pride
And fear

I'll know I lost you
You never lost me
Maybe you'll know that too.





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