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I See Her

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I see her

lips,
chapped, dry, bleeding
from the constant torment of her teeth

fingernails
cracked, frail, jagged
ragged flesh tearing off of the quick

hair
limp, thin, colorless
missing in patches from her scalp

eyes
dull, bleak, swollen
giving proof to her lack of sleep

She reaches out
with two shaking hands-


I rip the mirror off the wall.





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Emiri said...
Nov. 4, 2011 at 1:59 pm
I tagged this as a favorite halfway through it. I could never have thought of formatting it so the first sentence served as teh first sentence for each paragraph. (i know close to zip about poetry, so i'm using prose terms, my bad.) And how it makes sense that the whole thing besides the last sentence is in third person, because...well it's a mirror. Good job, this is, like, a masserpiece.
 
RyanTyler said...
Oct. 4, 2011 at 10:31 am
Really good. I've been trying to work with a concept like that for awhile and can never get it right, Keep it up
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Oct. 2, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Again, I love the twist at the end of your poem!  The imagery in this poem is excellent; I appreciate your descriptiveness.  Excellent work!
 
JoPepper said...
Oct. 1, 2011 at 10:29 am
Wow no words!!!! :D
 
Mystiecub said...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Umm...do I know you in real life, or are you somehow able to read people's minds? xD
Great job; this actually sent a chill up my spine. Keep writing, :D This is going on my favorite's list
 
PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 26, 2011 at 11:32 pm
Hot dang. This is real potential. In fact, its more than that. its good even as is, potential poetic skill aside. 
 
sunny.all.day. said...
Sept. 16, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Wow! This is really good!  I love how you had specific adjectives for each part :) and then at the end, it's like a poem of self hatred O_o I think. but it's good! :)
 
Steph0804 replied...
Sept. 16, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Thank you :D
 
Kvothe28 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 25, 2011 at 9:41 pm
I thought this was really good, and the ending totally caught me off guard. I hope you keep writing poems.
 
ButterflyKiss replied...
Oct. 10, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Woah! I'm loving the twist at the end! It really threw me off guard! :) Another brilliant poem by a brilliant writer!
 
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