.Blue

The world is full of hits and near-misses:
Fits of drugs and kisses mixed to fix
The schisms and splits of life-
Like licks of lollipops the tops of spliffs lit,
Sipped down and held in
To erase the mind of words like 'sin'
And big, thick, simple as a crucifix words
Like 'empty' and 'father' and 'blue.'
The kind of words that stare down at you
Like brick walls to tall to climb,
Too thick to break through,
So turn your eyes and lean into
It, set your back against it,
Its all right lets all pretend it.
Fenced in pretenders, we lend our members
To lovely others because love remembers-
Better off together and severed
Than left alone and lost forever.
Better off better off better off
Lofted skyline scrapers stacks of paper
Bills, will to live has built us hills of steel,
Rockets full of gears and wheels--
Anything to feel we're real.





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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

MoraleAsh said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 11:17 pm
Though this piece is really confusing, I still like how it's written. The only thing I would change is to break up some of it up into stanzas so it's easier on the eye. Also, you have really great imagery and word choice! If you want to try something new, you can attempt adding meter or rhyme and then your poems would be absolutely perfect!
 
PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 26, 2011 at 1:06 am
:) Haha. I see what you mean. I intentionally avoided meter and proper rhyme in this poem (as with many others). Its actually intended to be so thick and brick-like. Like a wall, if you will. If properly metered poetry appeals to you, may I direct you to my poem Injustice? Or She Woke Up. Anyway, I always appreciate your feedback :)
 
SwallowedByInsanity This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 7:55 am
I don't understand why your pieces don't have more comments! This is brilliant, the rhyme scheme is truly something. Keep it up (:
 
PaigeStreet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Thank you! You too :)
 
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