I am sitting in a chair looking around. I think, what am I doing here? Who am I? Are these people around me truly my friends? I fell alone, desperate like a baby who has lost his mother. Everything around me just becomes a blur. Nothing is familiar, everything is alienated, it fells like I’m in a maze with a dead end ahead of me. Nowhere to go, no one to turn to. I wake up sitting in my 7th grade core class. All of my “friends” seem weirdly out of focus. As I walk out of my class I look around and see unfamiliar faces all around me. I feel I know them but I feel I’m not with them. I’m not a part of a group. I’m not a part of a friendship. The world spins as I ride my bike home. I feel like I have nowhere to go so I stop. The world now slows down to a stop. Nothing is moving, not even a slight shift in the air. I look behind me from where I came and see a trail of light. The trail is more lit than the sun. I stare at it for a while then I touch the closest part of it to me. In a sudden rush reality comes crashing down breaking through my thoughts and through the trail of light that seemed to be following. When I look up from my desk I’m still in my core class with my friends sitting around me. Quickly, as if a neon sign had gone off, the bell rings for the end of school. I get up swiftly and as I walk out of the classroom I recognize and feel belonged among my peers. I feel like I am part of a group and a part of a friendship. I realize it was all just a disillusion of reality. In the end as I talk to my friends, as I ride my bike home I know I am fine, I am happy, and lastly I belong.
A Speeding Blur
September 8, 2011