Before

It is so odd for me to remember
The times you nodded to me, smiled, caught my eye
Laughed
Knowing, on the other side (as I am now- you might not hear
The ache inside my words yet)
That all you wanted
Was for me to hear the message
That you were silently repeating
While your eyes were on her body.
I hated her, thinking
In my childish anger
What I would like to say to her,
To you,
To the friend I tried to love.
Don't worry, I've moved on
Or at least that's what I tell myself
For last week i told someone that
You'd missed your chance-
Not that you'd ever see it-
But they knew it was a lie
And so, my smile did as well.
I wondered, though, if I brushed aside
My lack of courage, if I
Could have worn those pants,
Run far enough away
For you to catch me, and for me
To catch my voice.
I can't sing loud enough
To hear the answer-
If you'd oblige?





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