Left in Tears

September 5, 2011
By orangechick18 SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
orangechick18 SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
5 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not like a box of chocolates.It's more like a jar of jalapenos, what you do today,might burn your ass tomorrow!


You stole my heart right out of my chest.
I wanted you to keep it.
You just went and threw it away, you didn’t care any way.
You played me like a drum, just going with the beat.
Didn’t give a dang if I got hurt.
To you I was just a pretty face.
I know you didn’t mean it, you didn’t mean it.
What’s done is done you can’t change the past.
You said the words that changed it all.
I was left in tears just standing there.
Couldn’t believe you would leave me like that,
My heart sank, fell through the Earth.
I ended up lost and alone, till the day you called me up.
You told me you were lost without me.
I had to tell you, you were just a bit too late.
I just tied the knot with a wonderful man, I’m sorry so sorry.
When I hung up you were left in tears.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Aug. 12 2012 at 4:25 pm
Kiki_McGee GOLD, Woodstock, Illinois
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson

Nice! It kind of reminds me of a movie I saw a few weeks ago (too bad I can't remember the name). I think that my favorite line is: "You played me like a drum,/ just going with the beat." I agree with Infinity_Roses and J-Nav. Try to add somme variety to your sentence lengths.

butterfly123 said...
on Apr. 2 2012 at 1:11 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments

hey! nice one! i like the internal rhyme scheme used in a few lines . "You played me like a drum, just going with the beat." the metaphor used actually makes sense. i agree with Infinity_Roses about the sentence lengths. short and cut sentences make the poem flow better . but on the whole , great work and keep writing! :)

 


on Dec. 29 2011 at 11:35 pm
Infinity_Roses GOLD, Omaha, Nebraska
10 articles 0 photos 13 comments
I could really feel your emotion! I loved the metaphors, and the word choice... great work! Just a tip, try and experiment with sentence lengths. Each line in a poem doesn't have to be one sentence. Vary it up. :) But very nice work! Keep writing!


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