As Deep As My Mind | Teen Ink

As Deep As My Mind

September 7, 2011
By Anonymous

i've built a raft

strong at point 'a',

yet changes

are to be made

if 'b' will get nearer.



waves are getting higher

and higher.

i've no mast to raise

my spirits.



left guessing weather by

color of the sky.

there's a hollow base,

only i can float on.

one sharp, wrong, move can

easily ending this wandering.



i get lonely enough, the

wood and scraps speak back,

incoherently.

i've yet to stumble across more,

or land,

where there's room for two,

hopefully insane yet sane.



no compass, only a horizon.

no steerage, barely balancing.

when did this start

where have i sent myself

why

there's no end, only sleep.

point 'a' was forever ago,

point 'b' doesn't exist.

I'm bound to the sea,

becoming one with its

mist.


The author's comments:
I hate depression. The end.

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This article has 2 comments.


Peanut_time said...
on Sep. 13 2011 at 8:29 pm

Interesting. I'll admit that you're poetry is very very introspective, I have no criticisms, as it may be the browser I'm using that is screwing up your formatting, but I shall get on to what I think of it.

You have this sort of desolate feeling about you. The world seems to be against your favor, and you only have so little with you in your life, symbolized by the raft. I'd rather not think of that raft at point A being stronger, as in life we go through struggles that make us stronger as people, but what do you think lies at point B? Well, in reality, no one really knows, but all we know is that in the end, we will be stronger, even if you don't know it.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong but I see the lack of a mast as a lack of direction, not misguidance, but simply not knowing or controlling where you're going, and you just float through life, much like you float in this poem, with the waves becoming much more pronounced and harsh as you travel, but in the end, you remain alive, but scarred, and you're afraid of screwing up, even just a bit, because it could just very well end everything that you've built.

You seem to develop attachment to what comes along, if only to be less lonely, because in your mind and heart, you just want to escape from all of the pain, guilt, and the stench of failure, and just be yourself.

But in the end, you're right, there is no point B, nor will we ever see it. People find the idea of a point B to be the end of something, but do we really know what that something is? We decide to determine what ends and begins. We know how it begins, but there is no end.

Please don't think that there is such a thing as just becoming nothing. We all find purpose, and even if that purpose doesn't affect the universe in the long run, don't fret. You seem like you focus a lot on what is to come, and when you realize that you don't know what is coming, you get nervous, but you also paradoxically fear certainty, but you want something that'll make you happy in the long run. 

You don't want a distraction. You want a solution, but you feel that distractions are really the only thing that you can afford right now.

It'll all be okay in the end. <3


glitterham said...
on Sep. 12 2011 at 2:44 pm
this is seriously the most meaningful and brilliant poem i have ever read. I hope i interpetted it right. But i'm in love with this poem.