Typical of me

September 5, 2011
Fixed at Zero

You stand there, telling me to “keep it real”
Yet when I look at you
I see the very image of someone who knows
And doesn’t try to do the very thing
He tells other’s to do
A hypocrite
And I listen to every word this person
Whispers, mumbles, says
Just because I can’t take my eyes off of him

Of course, it’s such a cliché thing
The little sister falling for the big bro’s friend
Who’s so cool, so chill
In her eyes
Nothing he does can ever go wrong
And what a bad influence he is.

Then there’s the best friend
Who is also a guy
And always there for her
And in a moment of drunkenness
and mislead thoughts
he tells her he loves her
more than a friend

but she still feels drawn to the big brother’s
friend, so tall, so strong, so warm
that she ignores the pain
the agony of her best friend
she ignores his heartbreak
his concern for her
as she goes for the one who
never was there for her
makes fun of her
belittles her
and for what?
A kiss here, and hug there
And whispered lies filled with home

Join the Discussion

This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

lucygirl26 said...
Jan. 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm
I liked this. It was a typical crush story but unique because the situation was a little bit different. I liked the description you had, and I also agree with all the things CarrieAnn said. Other than that, it's a well written piece!
sunny.all.day. said...
Dec. 23, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Yea, I think the "Fixed at Zero" part was from when I copied and pasted it into the submission thingy and that was the original title, but I ended up changing it. After re reading this after a while, I see a lot of things that could be fixed/ made better. Thanks for your feedback! :)
Taphephobia This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 10:01 pm
I think some parts at the beginning of this were a little confusing and like CarrieAnn said I don't really get "Fixed At Zero" but honestly I really liked it just because it holds so much truth. Altogether it was a very great poem.
CarrieAnn13 said...
Oct. 24, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Wow, this is really emotional, but I have some criticisms.

1.  'Other's' doesn't need an apostrophe.

2.  It's kind of weird how in the beginning you capitalize the first letter of every line, then just stop before starting again at the end.

3.  'Fixed at Zero.'  I just don't get that part at the beginning.


Other than that, I truly love the feeling of conflict throughout this!  Great poem!

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