Typical of me

September 5, 2011
By sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)
"writing is a struggle against silence" carlos fuentos
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."


Fixed at Zero

You stand there, telling me to “keep it real”
Yet when I look at you
I see the very image of someone who knows
And doesn’t try to do the very thing
He tells other’s to do
A hypocrite
And I listen to every word this person
Whispers, mumbles, says
Just because I can’t take my eyes off of him

Of course, it’s such a cliché thing
The little sister falling for the big bro’s friend
Who’s so cool, so chill
In her eyes
Nothing he does can ever go wrong
And what a bad influence he is.

Then there’s the best friend
Who is also a guy
And always there for her
And in a moment of drunkenness
and mislead thoughts
he tells her he loves her
more than a friend

but she still feels drawn to the big brother’s
friend, so tall, so strong, so warm
that she ignores the pain
the agony of her best friend
she ignores his heartbreak
his concern for her
as she goes for the one who
never was there for her
makes fun of her
belittles her
and for what?
A kiss here, and hug there
And whispered lies filled with home



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This article has 4 comments.


on Jan. 5 2012 at 8:07 pm
lucygirl26 GOLD, Greensboro, North Carolina
11 articles 0 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a bowl of spaghetti. Every once in a while, you get a meatball." - Sharon Creech

I liked this. It was a typical crush story but unique because the situation was a little bit different. I liked the description you had, and I also agree with all the things CarrieAnn said. Other than that, it's a well written piece!

on Dec. 23 2011 at 6:28 pm
sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)
"writing is a struggle against silence" carlos fuentos
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

Yea, I think the "Fixed at Zero" part was from when I copied and pasted it into the submission thingy and that was the original title, but I ended up changing it. After re reading this after a while, I see a lot of things that could be fixed/ made better. Thanks for your feedback! :)

on Dec. 22 2011 at 10:01 pm
VandalSpirit DIAMOND, Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin
51 articles 9 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of Gods great love, we are not consumed. His compassion never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I think some parts at the beginning of this were a little confusing and like CarrieAnn said I don't really get "Fixed At Zero" but honestly I really liked it just because it holds so much truth. Altogether it was a very great poem.

on Oct. 24 2011 at 8:23 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Wow, this is really emotional, but I have some criticisms.

1.  'Other's' doesn't need an apostrophe.

2.  It's kind of weird how in the beginning you capitalize the first letter of every line, then just stop before starting again at the end.

3.  'Fixed at Zero.'  I just don't get that part at the beginning.

 

Other than that, I truly love the feeling of conflict throughout this!  Great poem!



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