Just Friends

August 26, 2011
By Dude123 SILVER, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Dude123 SILVER, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 3 comments

I wanted more, when I drove away in the rain.
Every time I grow close to her, I freeze and die.
I speak to her sometimes, and tell her, “I’m sorry,
I couldn’t be better or sweeter, like other guys.
I’m just me: not a jock, not a hipster, only
A dork. And I’m fine with that. Sixteen’s a long time to live
Alone. Without you.” And every time I say this,
She doesn’t hear. Because all that comes out is my breath.
And that’s fine. But I wished I could kiss her and say,
“I’ve loved you since third grade,” when she needed a ride.
A ride home in the rain. But I didn’t, couldn’t,
Because I was sorry I wasn’t a jock, a hipster,
Or anything she knew. She was my stars and sea,
Which fill everything I know like honey in rye.
I froze and died in the cruel cold of my front seat.
In the rain, it is all cold, and we wanted more.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2 comments.


Dude123 SILVER said...
on Aug. 30 2011 at 2:58 pm
Dude123 SILVER, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 3 comments
yea, i tried to keep the 12-syllable thing alive by adding some unnecessary words.  better be careful that doesn't backfire

on Aug. 30 2011 at 8:48 am
Blue4indigo PLATINUM, Sturbridge, Connecticut
24 articles 0 photos 382 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather be sorry for something that I did than for something I didn't do.
-Red Scott

This is very sweet, I especially liked the lines "Sixteen's a long time to live/ Alone. Without you. And every time I say this,/ She doesn't hear. Because all that comes out is my breath." Simple and true, and finely worded. The only thing that makes me slightly uncomfortable is that you seem to use so many words. Try to leave out what you absolutely don't need to say. "A story is words in the best order, and poetry is the best words in the best order" or something like that...

Would you mind looking at some of my work?



Parkland Book